chappers
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 31/12/2006
Posts: 5369
Loc: Mind your own business
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
...my fav: Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
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big_al
veteran
Reged: 16/01/2007
Posts: 1507
Loc: Germany (British Forces)
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
Chuck Norris once killed a sea gull, by throwing it off a cliff
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If you succeed without having to try hard, you have failed.
If you fail but have tried hard, you have succeeded.
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Failing to prepare is preparing to fail
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Chip
member
Reged: 06/05/2007
Posts: 165
Loc: Fairhope, Alabama USA
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song
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Pure speed in sixth gear on a 5000-foot straightaway is one thing, but pure speed in third gear on a gravel-strewn downhill ess-turn is quite another
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