Bedford sounds about right. At the time I was living in High Wycombe, and one of the UB's established members used to drink in the bikers pub where we held our MAG meetings - the Nags Head in High Wycombe. It all caused a lot of unneccesary drama, apparently - of which I was blissfully unaware until later. I obviously 'looked the type' (beard, long hair, fat, rides a motorcycle - check!), but I was never going to join a back patch club as long as I have a hole in my arse, so when this guy kept sidling up to me and telling me how much jolly fun it all was and that I should come along, I nodded politely and expressed my doubts, thanked him for his kind offer, told him I'd think about it etc. I figured that "stick your 1%er bollocks up your arse" might offend, so I didn't say that. In hindsight I should have.

There was a mate of mine from MAG, a 6'8" tall, 5' wide bus mechanic as it happens, who really did want to buy into the whole 1%er thing, and was enthusiastically prospecting for them, and unbeknownst to me they gave him the job of 'just pushing me over the edge' to come along and prospect, obviously as some kind of test. Anyway, I let him down gently as well, but more firmly, and thought no more about it. Weeks later, at the annual show we organised in Chinnor, I was accosted in friendly fashion by several UBs including matey from the pub who again urged me to prospect with them. This time I was rather clearer that I really wasn't interested. "But did Nick not have a word with you?" they asked, incredulously... "Yes, and really I'm quite sure, I'm not interested!" I said.

Next time I was at a MAG meeting I was accosted by Nick's rather pissed off other half berating me for 'getting her Nick booted out of the UB's'. Apparently, he failed the test...

Fortunately, he was pretty cool about it. Which is good, because I wouldn't have fancied dealing with him if he hadn't been...