KennyP
old hand
Reged: 16/11/2006
Posts: 763
Loc: Croydon via Brussels and Glasg...
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1. Try to be nice to each other.
2. Try to work around the swear filter.
3. No question is too stupid to be asked. Nobody is born knowing anything, not even how to adjust a clutch lever. So ask!
4. Expect to have the piss taken out of you by anonymous people.
5. Take the piss back, don't spit the dummy.
6. If you are a racist, sexist homophobe, expect to be abused or mocked.
7. If you don't ride a sportsbike, we don't care.
8. Feel free to post questions for the Staff of the magazine. They will be docked pay if they don't respond.
9. Keep www.dictionary.com open in another browser window while you post. People take you more seriously if you can spell correctly. Realy.
10. Don't use the phrase 'politically correct'. Instead, why not think up some other more useful, more accurate phrase?
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kenny_pryde@ipcmedia.com
"There are three sides to every story. Yours. Mine. And the truth." Robert Evans.
Waste more time here http://uk.youtube.com/SuperBikeMag
or here
http://www.twitter.com/SuperBikemag/
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SHRUBBERY
member
Reged: 29/12/2006
Posts: 132
Loc: Midlands...Lovely Place..NOT!
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Kenny, would rule number 10 be aimed at any posts concerning the centre pages by any chance? 
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Trust Me..I'm a Biker!!
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KwH
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/11/2006
Posts: 1867
Loc: Carmarthen, Dyfed
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Ken Haylock
http://www.cix.co.uk/~kwh
"Ride what you like, how you like, as often as you like; but always take responsibilty for your actions." - Anonymous Zen Guru
"Obviously all I'll care about is if it's good for wheelies (i.e. fluffs up my meagre skills), and what free gift they give on the launch." - Anonymous Moto-Journalism Guru
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xxrider
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/11/2006
Posts: 2560
Loc: Somewhere over the rainbow.......
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11. DON'T POST IN UPPER CASE SCRIPT. IT HURTS MY EARS!
12. Don't write anything you wouldn't HONESTLY be prepared to say to someone's face.
13. Be yourself (under an alias, if you prefer!) Don't go overboard trying to appear to be more knowledgeable, cool, "with it" etc than you really are!
14. Don't Bullsh*t!
15. Welcome EVERY new forum member warmly, with genuine sentiment and cordiality. THEN rip the sh*t out of them!
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Remember - there are people in the world who are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.
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KwH
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/11/2006
Posts: 1867
Loc: Carmarthen, Dyfed
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16. If somebody asks you if you have seen goatse.cz - and you haven't - don't, under ANY circumstances, go and look.
17. No really, don't!
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Ken Haylock
http://www.cix.co.uk/~kwh
"Ride what you like, how you like, as often as you like; but always take responsibilty for your actions." - Anonymous Zen Guru
"Obviously all I'll care about is if it's good for wheelies (i.e. fluffs up my meagre skills), and what free gift they give on the launch." - Anonymous Moto-Journalism Guru
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makka
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 13/05/2007
Posts: 2866
Loc: Jungle, Near Byron Bay, Austra...
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you're a sick man Ken
18 Think of really interesting and controversial topics so we can all have some fun.
9a. Get a Mac with the latest version of Safari which checks your spelling as you write! Maybe you can get Safari for PC's, but get a Mac anyway. I've got shares in Apple.
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makka
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
J. Krishnamurti
Never confuse who you are with what you do.
Makka
Zeitgeist
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KwH
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/11/2006
Posts: 1867
Loc: Carmarthen, Dyfed
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Quote:
you're a sick man Ken
Hey, I told you not to look, didn't I?
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Ken Haylock
http://www.cix.co.uk/~kwh
"Ride what you like, how you like, as often as you like; but always take responsibilty for your actions." - Anonymous Zen Guru
"Obviously all I'll care about is if it's good for wheelies (i.e. fluffs up my meagre skills), and what free gift they give on the launch." - Anonymous Moto-Journalism Guru
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makka
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 13/05/2007
Posts: 2866
Loc: Jungle, Near Byron Bay, Austra...
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I didn't.
I remember from last time.
I didn't look then either but others did.
I realised (after taking quite a lot of Ibogaine [google it]) long ago that whatever goes into my mind stays there.
I resolved not to put anything more like horror or violence or really sick porn in there.
(One of the reasons why it pisses me that they now put all kinds of horror on the news without warning people (dead bodies or torture stuff)
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makka
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
J. Krishnamurti
Never confuse who you are with what you do.
Makka
Zeitgeist
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KwH
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/11/2006
Posts: 1867
Loc: Carmarthen, Dyfed
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Quote:
I realised (after taking quite a lot of Ibogaine [google it])
Halucinogenic Alkaloids? I never would have figured that you had form for halucinogens, mate - I thought your user icon was just a cow that fancied a swim...
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Ken Haylock
http://www.cix.co.uk/~kwh
"Ride what you like, how you like, as often as you like; but always take responsibilty for your actions." - Anonymous Zen Guru
"Obviously all I'll care about is if it's good for wheelies (i.e. fluffs up my meagre skills), and what free gift they give on the launch." - Anonymous Moto-Journalism Guru
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makka
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 13/05/2007
Posts: 2866
Loc: Jungle, Near Byron Bay, Austra...
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those days are past and gone.
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makka
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
J. Krishnamurti
Never confuse who you are with what you do.
Makka
Zeitgeist
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xxrider
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/11/2006
Posts: 2560
Loc: Somewhere over the rainbow.......
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19. Don't worry about staying on subject in a thread. It's far more entertaining if you don't.
20. Don't look at any links Ken posts. Even after he's warned you not to.
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Remember - there are people in the world who are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.
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KennyP
old hand
Reged: 16/11/2006
Posts: 763
Loc: Croydon via Brussels and Glasg...
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Amendments 1.1 (with thanks)
1. Try to be nice to each other.
2. Try to work around the swear filter.
3. No question is too stupid to be asked. Nobody is born knowing anything, not even how to adjust a clutch lever. So ask!
4. Expect to have the piss taken out of you by anonymous people.
5. Take the piss back, don't spit the dummy.
6. If you are a racist, sexist homophobe, expect to be abused or mocked.
7. If you don't ride a sportsbike, we don't care.
8. Feel free to post questions for the Staff of the magazine. They will be docked pay if they don't respond.
9. Keep www.dictionary.com open in another browser window while you post. People take you more seriously if you can spell correctly. Realy.
10. Don't use the phrase 'politically correct'. Instead, why not think up some other more useful, more accurate phrase?
11. DON'T POST IN UPPER CASE SCRIPT. IT HURTS PEOPLE'S EARS!
12. Don't write anything you wouldn't honestly be prepared to say to someone's face, espcially if they were bigger than you
13. Be yourself (under an alias, if you must) Don't go overboard trying to appear to be more knowledgeable, cool, "with it" etc, than you really are!
14. Don't bullshiit.
15. Welcome every new forum member warmly, with genuine sentiment and cordiality. Then rip the shiit out of them.
16. Think of really interesting and controversial topics so we can all have some fun.
17. Never use more than one exclamation mark. More than one makes you look like a mentallist.
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kenny_pryde@ipcmedia.com
"There are three sides to every story. Yours. Mine. And the truth." Robert Evans.
Waste more time here http://uk.youtube.com/SuperBikeMag
or here
http://www.twitter.com/SuperBikemag/
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KwH
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/11/2006
Posts: 1867
Loc: Carmarthen, Dyfed
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I still think the one about never, ever, EVER looking at or following a link to goatse.cz is absolutely crucial. In fact I don't think you can stress it enough.
Edit: And no, even if for some perverse reason you are tempted, FFS don't go looking at work! DEFINITELY not work safe. Though not, to the best of my knowledge, actually illegal.
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Ken Haylock
http://www.cix.co.uk/~kwh
"Ride what you like, how you like, as often as you like; but always take responsibilty for your actions." - Anonymous Zen Guru
"Obviously all I'll care about is if it's good for wheelies (i.e. fluffs up my meagre skills), and what free gift they give on the launch." - Anonymous Moto-Journalism Guru
Edited by KwH (04/07/2007 10:47)
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simonthemonkey
enthusiast
Reged: 26/02/2007
Posts: 324
Loc: Leeds, West Yorkshire
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Quote:
17. Never use more than one exclamation mark. More than one makes you look like a mentallist.
ooops !!!!!
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Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once. Of all the wonders that I yet have heard, It seems to me most strange that men should fear; Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come. - "Julius Caesar", Act 2, Scene 2
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xxrider
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/11/2006
Posts: 2560
Loc: Somewhere over the rainbow.......
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Just one thing, Kenny.
Are you intending to enforce these rules?
Can we look forward to a system of warnings, and eventual expulsion?
Or being sat in the corner with a big, pointy cap on?
Or being sent to the headmistress for a beating?
And can Jayne please be the headmistress?
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Remember - there are people in the world who are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.
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KennyP
old hand
Reged: 16/11/2006
Posts: 763
Loc: Croydon via Brussels and Glasg...
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Quote:
Quote:
17. Never use more than one exclamation mark. More than one makes you look like a mentallist.
ooops !!!!!
Monkey boy...the 'screamers' are the least of your problems, you've been shouting at beans for a while now....arf!
PS Tried M&S beans? Maybe they're a higher class of bean and will respond?
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kenny_pryde@ipcmedia.com
"There are three sides to every story. Yours. Mine. And the truth." Robert Evans.
Waste more time here http://uk.youtube.com/SuperBikeMag
or here
http://www.twitter.com/SuperBikemag/
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makka
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 13/05/2007
Posts: 2866
Loc: Jungle, Near Byron Bay, Austra...
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makka
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
J. Krishnamurti
Never confuse who you are with what you do.
Makka
Zeitgeist
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KwH
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/11/2006
Posts: 1867
Loc: Carmarthen, Dyfed
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She may read this, so I'm probably gonna get a slap, but WTF...
Harriet went out to race her Ducati at Assen last month, and was out wanging round during free practice learning the circuit and getting up to speed, when she managed to have a coming together with one of the only other women in the series, who was taking a different but equally valid line through the same fast corner. Neither saw the other, racing speed, both unsighted, suddenly BANG!, and one rider stayed on, while poor old Hilary went earth/sky/earth/sky/ambulance/operating theatre for a badly broken collar bone (get well soon, H!). So anyway, this other woman, Lily, had no idea what had happened and assumed that 'H' had punted her from behind, and visa versa. Fortunately, this being a club meeting at Assen and not some pikey UK circuit, they had full video running and so the club rider rep watched the slow motion from all three camera angles and confirmed that it was side to side contact, unfortunate racing incident, nobody's fault. But nobody told the riders...
So Lily goes back home after a brilliant weekend and posts a really bubbly race report, mentioning in passing that she was punted from behind during practice by 'H', and 'H' who was clearly not very happy posts her version saying that Lily punted her off, and it's all about starting to kick off in full Franki-Chili-versus-Foggy fashion. But just before the guy who reviewed the video spoiled it all by posting the facts of what actually happened, the rest of the Desmo Due racers had come up with a diplomatic solution of their own.
They were planning on bringing a giant paddling pool and a 40 gallon catering drum of coleslaw to the next race meeting and letting the ladies resolve their differences in the paddock before the first practice session
They really missed a trick, though. I'd have slipped the guy who had seen the video a tenner to keep his gob shut until after the next meeting, personally.
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Ken Haylock
http://www.cix.co.uk/~kwh
"Ride what you like, how you like, as often as you like; but always take responsibilty for your actions." - Anonymous Zen Guru
"Obviously all I'll care about is if it's good for wheelies (i.e. fluffs up my meagre skills), and what free gift they give on the launch." - Anonymous Moto-Journalism Guru
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FastBikerBoy
veteran
Reged: 08/11/2006
Posts: 1469
Loc: Norfolk, UK - Police State
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I am a mentalist!!!! No seriously........... I am!!!!
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FBB
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makka
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 13/05/2007
Posts: 2866
Loc: Jungle, Near Byron Bay, Austra...
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coleslaw?
you're a sick man Ken.
I expect you would throw in a couple of sheep too.
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makka
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
J. Krishnamurti
Never confuse who you are with what you do.
Makka
Zeitgeist
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