Germans are good at practicality, and very sensible, albeit without a sense of humour. Yeah, that's a generalisation. Germans are overweight on too much bier and bratwurst. And that's a just crass stereotype, of course. But that's the thing about the K1200S – it's everything you expect a German to be!

It is all of the above: flawlessly practical, undoubtedly sensible and reliable, but rather lacking a sense of mischief, and definitely bloody heavy. Having said that, it's also very, very fast indeed. The problem for the K1200S is that those riders who want an extremely fast motorcycle often want a bike that's also hard-edged and oozing attitude. Compared to its competitors (Hayabusa, ZZR1400, etc.), the BMW is short on power and just doesn't seem very extreme. Heated grips, electronically controlled suspension and shaft-drive are all very nice, but they're hardly radical, are they? Sensible speeding? It just doesn't make sense.

Is it an old man's bike? After all, you get plenty of middle-aged business types buying fast Merc and Beemer cars, only to potter around in them, testing the parameters of nothing but the heated seats. But we bikers aren't like that. If you buy a K1200S, chances are you want to ride it, er, progressively. And if you do, you'll be richly rewarded. The BMW's handling is a real revelation; it steers accurately and feels much lighter than its 227 kilos. In fact, the BMW 1200S is probably the best-handling bike in a hyper-sports sector. Trackday-phobic it ain't.

Simon had the K1200S's half-faired brother, the R-Sport, on long-term test and covered over 18,000 miles on it. He'd happily retire on it: “This 'gentlemen's express' is comfortable, ergonomically sound, useable at any speed, easier [than the competition] to maintain, [and] terrific at stopping.” If you like to cover the miles quickly, the BMW is a superb mileage-muncher – far faster and more fun than a dedicated tourer, yet comfortable enough to ride all day without cramps.

The K1200S is a supremely stable bike, whether you're cornering, braking or nailing the throttle in a straight line – bumpy B-road or silky track, it's utterly compliant. Such good manners are testament to the well-sorted duolever/paralever suspension, which is electronically adjustable, so you can make onboard changes according to how much load you're carrying or how sportily you intend to ride.

Ultimately, the K1200S is just too much of a gentleman. It goes very fast and does everything you want, but lacks that essential excitement-factor. If it had 20bhp more, with a bit more attitude, the story could be very different. But in this class, where power is king, the heavyweight German doesn't have the sheer brute force to disguise its slightly lacking personality.